The Last Time

The thought occurred to me as we drove down I-85 in silence, coming home from a pleasant and relaxing weekend with old college friends. We had watched the Georgia-Auburn game with them the day before; our team won – Go Dawgs! That game was followed by a brisk walk in the cool, crisp air of a dwindling fall day. We returned to our friends’ home to enjoy a dinner of steaks grilled to perfection followed by homemade apple pie. Does it get any better than that? After a good night’s rest, we ate a hearty breakfast at a local restaurant and then parted with our friends.

A cold front had blown through during the night, taking with it most of the remaining autumn leaves, though some color remained, and a few trees were spectacular. The traffic along the interstate was not too heavy; however, we soon found ourselves playing cat and mouse with a convoy of eighteen wheelers. I remembered why I have always avoided this particular interstate and thought of the danger it represents in my mind. That is when the thought hit me – what if this is the last time? The screech of burning tires, the crash of metal and broken glass, and in an instant, it could all be over. Now I know that sounds macabre, but my thoughts soon took a more positive direction. If yesterday had been my last day on earth, it would have been a good way to go out. That’s the way I would want it all to end – enjoying life with people I love.

I continued this vein of thought. What if this was my last fall? The trees along the roadside took on a different light as I looked at all around me with new eyes. The reds grew redder, the oranges more orange, and the yellows seemed to have about them the glow of sunlight. The blue sky provided the most amazing contrast to the fall colors of the leaves. The light and heat of the sun intensified as it poured through the windows of our car. I basked in its warmth. If this was, indeed, my last fall, I wanted to experience it with every ounce of awareness I could muster.

What if I had just said goodbye to my dear, dear friends for the last time? I pictured their faces in detail and was flooded with memories of all the special moments we have shared over the years.

And the other night, when I kissed my grown son goodnight, what if it was the last time? I remembered standing on tiptoes to brush his cheeks with my lips, felt the bristle of his red whiskers, saw his blue eyes look at me as he said, “Love you.” Tears stung my eyes as I poignantly thought of all he means to me.

If this were my last day, what words would I say to my faithful husband of thirty-five years? How would I thank my aging parents for all they have done for me? And most importantly of all, what words would I pray to the God who made me as I prepared to meet Him?

In other words, how would I live this moment if I knew the end was near? Now I’m sure many of us have listened to preachers warn us that “this might be the last sermon you will ever hear,” or “the last invitation you will receive.” Be saved now, tell your family you love them, for tomorrow it may be too late. We probably felt a momentary stab of fear, a fleeting conviction, and then thought, “Eh, not likely,” and went back to planning lunch and a Sunday afternoon nap. Not likely, perhaps, but possible…it happens to someone somewhere every moment of every day.

It happened to all those people who went to work in the World Trade Center on September 11th. I doubt any of them were thinking that this would be the last time they would kiss their husband or wife goodbye, the last time they would stop at the corner Starbucks for a rich, warm cup of coffee, the last time they would ride the elevator to the upper floors of the buildings towering over the city of New York, the last time the twin skyscrapers would dominate the city’s skyline. Yet, it was all of that. I wonder what lasting memories they left in the hearts and minds of their loved ones.

I doubt it is possible for any of us to consistently live our daily lives as if each day were the last one, and each word spoken the last ones we would say on this earth. But if we could just capture a tiny bit of that awareness, perhaps our lives would be richer and more meaningful. Maybe we would make every precious moment of life matter, and say the words, “I love you,” more often.

As we drove closer to home, the distant mountains came into view - covered with snow! How beautiful they shone in the sunlight! "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills..." I hope God will grant me many more days to enjoy the majesty of His creation, and I hope I appreciate every minute of it.