It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but I’ve decided to write a series on how to stop worrying. Now, when those of you who know me best pick yourselves up off the floor and stop laughing, I’ll explain why I’m doing this. I’ve been reading one of the best books ever written on anxiety – How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. It’s an old book published in 1944, but since the human mind hasn’t changed that much since then, I figure it’s just as relevant today as it was back then. I like the book because it’s not a lot of psychobabble examining the reasons why we worry; nor is it preachy, basically telling me that if I were a good Christian who trusted God enough, I wouldn’t have this problem. I don’t know why I’m a worrier, and frankly, I don’t much care. It’s either in my genes or it was ingrained in me in my childhood, or a combination of both. Psychologists now say that our personality is set by the age of six, and worrying is certainly a part of my personality. Whatever the reasons, no matter when it started, I simply want to know what to do about it now! Carnegie’s book offers many practical strategies for dealing with chronic worry.
So why am I writing about it? I’m a teacher. I’ve been a teacher since the age of eight when I forced my four-year-old sister to sit still and learn her letters and numbers. With three grandparents who were educators, I guess teaching is in my blood. With that inclination, any information that flows into my brain quite naturally comes out of my mouth. That may explain why that same little sister now affectionately calls me “Smart Butt.” (I’ve also been referred to by others as the Grammar Police…oh well, “I yam who I yam.”) ANYway, I learned something rather profound in my twenty-three years of teaching: If you want to learn something well, teach it to someone else. Learning something well means you internalize it, store it in your long-term memory, and most importantly, act on it! Well, I really, really want to learn how to deal with my worrying, so I am going to teach anyone reading this how to do so. That way, I can help myself and hopefully help others at the same time.
The first, and perhaps best, suggestion made by Mr. Carnegie is to think in “day-tight compartments.” This means that you compartmentalize your life into individual days and focus only on TODAY. You need to do this all the time. You don’t worry about tomorrow or next week or what’s going to happen five years down the road. If you are going to worry, it has to be about an immediate concern you are dealing with TODAY. It should also concern something you can actually do something about; otherwise, your worry is a waste of time and energy.
Now, me telling you this is not going to change you into a worry-free person overnight. Being a worrier is a lot like being an alcoholic – you will always be one. What you and I CAN do is learn strategies to help us deal with worries when they threaten to overtake us. I have memorized those two words – "day-tight compartments." Whenever I catch myself worrying about some future possibility, I repeat those two words to myself. This happens daily, sometimes several times. Catching myself is important, but it is just as important to replace the damaging thoughts with something else. As soon as I tell myself, “Day-tight compartments,” I start thinking about my plans for the day and what I need to accomplish. This works. Try it, and you will see, because we really cannot think about more than one thing at a time.
“But, but, but…,” you say. “My worries are real! I’m not just imagining things; bad stuff is quite likely to happen in my future.” I know – my worries are real, too. My parents are growing older and more forgetful by the day, increasingly needing my help. I’m getting older myself, and right now, old age does NOT look like a picnic. The economy just won’t get any better, and my son, who has a family to support and a house payment to make, works for a state that is out of money. So does my sister. My husband and I depend on a federal pension from a government that is 13 trillion dollars in debt and running unsustainable deficits. Health care is getting too expensive for ANYONE to afford. Muslim extremists want to destroy us, and the Chinese want to replace us as the next Superpower. The world is a big, scary place. I get that. But how much can I do about any of it? Not much, at least not today. So…I will focus on sphere of influence - today. Today, I am working at the art gallery and taking care of my responsibilities with the Art Guild. That’s enough to think about.
Actually, Carnegie was not the first person to come up with this concept. Jesus of Nazareth taught the principal over 2000 years ago. In Matthew 6:34, our Lord tells us, “Be not therefore anxious for the morrow; for the morrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” In today’s language, Jesus was saying we’ve got enough to worry about today. We can worry about tomorrow when tomorrow gets here.
