Up and Down

Well, it’s been a while! So much has happened in the past few weeks – both good and terribly sad.
First the bad news… my dear friend Elizabeth Belcher lost both her parents just three weeks apart. Doug and I were visiting with Jim and Elizabeth at her parents’ home to watch the first game of the season (UGA) when her mother suddenly had what we believe was a stroke. She was unresponsive, just staring straight ahead and was having difficulty breathing. 911 was called. They took her to the hospital in the ambulance, and she died about two hours later. Needless to say, it was a traumatic day. Elizabeth and her parents, indeed her whole family, have always been very close. I knew it was going to be very hard on her and her dad. Then, three weeks later, Elizabeth was back at her dad’s house getting ready for her mom’s memorial service to be held the next day. Her dad collapsed and 911 was called again. The doctors told the family he had massive bleeding in his brain and there was no hope of recovery, that it was just a matter of hours. Elizabeth was simply devastated. She called us from the hospital, crying so hard it broke our hearts to hear her. The memorial service was held the next morning for her mom, but it turned into a celebration of both her parents’ lives. Her dad died later that same day. The following Wednesday, there was a double burial of their ashes.

Doug and I have known the McDowalls as long as we’ve known Jim and Elizabeth, since our college days. They were two of the sweetest people you could ever meet. They always made us feel so welcome, like we were part of the family. They were fortunate to have sharp minds right up till the end. While they both died easy deaths, the suddenness of it is terribly hard on the family they left behind. Please pray for Elizabeth.

The evening we got the call from Elizabeth about her dad was the evening before we left on our big vacation. We had plane tickets for early the next morning to fly to New York where we would board the Norwegian Dawn for a Canadian and New England cruise. We were already down at Mary Jane and Mike’s house, as they were going with us on the trip. So I was unable to even go to the hospital to be with Elizabeth. I am so sorry I could not be there for her, but Mary Jane and I prayed a long time for her that night, and we were in touch by phone. I’ve talked with her several times since then and hope to visit her soon. I bought a red and a pink rose bush for her to plant in memory of her parents and want to take them to her.

The day after Elizabeth’s tearful phone call, Mike, Mary Jane, Doug, and I got up early so we could leave for the airport by 6:30 AM. We were excited about our trip. On the way to Atlanta, however, I discovered that I had accidentally picked up Doug’s expired passport instead of his current one. (Don’t ask me why he kept the old one.) We hoped this would not cause problems, as it was too late to go home for it. We trucked on, and later had a very uneventful flight to NYC. I was not the least bit nervous, which was quite an accomplishment for someone who was terrified on my first plane trip – also to New York, but 24 years ago.

We arrived at LaGuardia only to discover that the shuttle bus we had booked in advance was not there, so after two phone calls and a thirty minute wait, we were finally taken to our hotel, the International, just a block off of Times Square. The hotel was very nice, and it should have been, as it cost us $391 a night – and that was with a discount! So the four of us decided we could share a room for a night. That worked out ok, but between Doug’s and Mike’s snoring, I didn’t get much sleep that night!

On our way to the hotel, we drove through Harlem. We noticed the van driver locked the doors as soon as we got into that part of the city!

We had not eaten lunch so after we settled in our hotel, we decided we would have a mid-afternoon meal to serve as both lunch and dinner. We started down the street towards Times Square and inquired about a good restaurant. Carmine’s was suggested. I had heard Regis and Kelly talk about this one, so I figured it must be good – and expensive. When we got there and looked at the menu, we thought it WAS too expensive. But then we found out that one dish would feed four people! We went on in and had an awesome Italian dinner.

We had a great time at Carmine’s. Then we walked around Times Square taking pictures. I am a country girl at heart, but I must admit it is exciting being in the heart of New York City – actually, the center of the world. So many people! So many taxis! Police presence was ubiquitous, so we felt quite secure. Everywhere, there were huge screens with all types of advertisements playing; even the whole side of a round building was a giant movie screen. There were street vendors on every corner selling I  New York tee-shirts and mugs and other paraphernalia. It was a loud, bustling, and amazing place to visit, but you couldn’t pay me enough to live there!

That evening, we walked down the street to see “The Lion King” on Broadway. The show was amazing!

The next day we got up and walked to a New York deli to eat breakfast, figuring that was part of the whole NYC experience. Then we bought a few souvenirs. I got Hayden the cutest little onesie outfit with little yellow taxi cabs all over it. Next, we decided to ride the subway down to Ground Zero. This would have been easy if all the trains had been running, but the one we needed closed due to construction. After asking multiple people for help, we were able to make a transfer and then get on a shuttle that took us past our stop since no one told us where we were! We got off and walked back to Wall Street past the bull and on to Ground Zero, which is basically just a construction site surrounded by a fence right now. At least we could say we had been there. Then we maneuvered the subway system again to get back to our hotel and checked out. A taxi picked us up to take us to the port. We were still anxious about that passport situation, and sure enough, Doug and I had to wait a while for them to check everything out, but we finally got on board.
We were told there would be no problem getting into Canada, and there wasn’t. Thank goodness!

After boarding the ship, we had a lovely and relaxing lunch in the main dining room. Then we explored the ship, meeting lots of fellow southerners on board. As we set sail, I took multiple pictures of the Statue of Liberty from our room’s balcony. She was so beautiful! That statute embodies everything that is wonderful about America.

All aboard and ready to set sail in New York

The next day we were at sea all day long. I was still thinking a lot about Elizabeth and feeling a bit sad. Mary Jane and I played double solitaire a lot in the game room. And of course, we ate. Boy, did we eat! The food on the ship was fantastic. We quickly discovered that the French toast, the chocolate croissants, and the hot wings were especially good, and went back for them often throughout the week. (Oh, and the chocolate macadamia nut cookies!) I gained four-and-half pound. Sigh.

On Tuesday, we arrived in Halifax, Nova Scotia. The temperature was quite pleasant, but it was foggy! We had booked a private van tour there, which we enjoyed very much. He drove us out to Peggy’s Cove, where there is a lighthouse that is one of the most photographed in the world. Peggy’s Cove is a very small and quaint fishing village. Lobster trapping is the main industry. On the way there, we also stopped at a maple syrup processing store and sampled all kinds of food and drinks made from maple syrup. We bought souvenirs there as well. Then we got a tour of Halifax. We learned about the great Halifax explosion that killed over 2000 people in 1917 (?) and went to the graveyard where the bodies of those on the Titanic were buried. (the few that were recovered) All in all, it was an interesting day. I got some neat fog pictures!

Foggy in Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia

Wednesday was probably my least favorite day of the trip. We were in St. John’s, New Brunswick, and the weather was not good at all. The fog was soupy, and we wore our rain jackets as we explored the town. We had not booked an excursion, which was just as well, as we wouldn’t have been able to see anything anyway.

Thursday we arrived in Bar Harbor, Maine, our favorite port! The weather was beautiful. Bar Harbor is a lovely, quaint seaport with interesting shops to explore. I would love to go back there and stay a few days. We took a tour up to the top of Cadillac Mountain, which is the highest point on the east coast of the US. That’s where we actually saw some nice fall color. For the most part, we were too early to see New England’s famous color season. The view from on top of the mountain was awesome, and we got lots of good photos. Then we went down to Thunder Hole on the rocky shoreline and got more good pictures. By this time, the fog had rolled in again, but once we were back in town, it had lifted. We ate lobster rolls and blueberry crumb cake in a little café. Later we got ice cream.

Eagle Lake, Bar Harbor, Maine

Friday we arrived in Newport, RI. The weather was perfect! Mary Jane and I probably walked 8 or 9 miles that day! (The guys pooped out on us and returned to the ship to eat hot wings!) We walked along the lovely cliff walk where the famous mansions overlook the sea. It was beautiful.

Saturday we arrived in Boston where we walked the Freedom Trail and took a lovely harbor cruise. The next morning we were back in New York. We took our shuttle back to the airport and had a nice flight back to Atlanta. While not everything was perfect, we really enjoyed our cruise and each other’s company. It was a great week!

The following weekend, we had our annual family reunion at our house, so there was not much rest after our trip. Unfortunately, my two cousins from KY were unable to come this year, so it was basically just our immediate family, spouses, and children, though we did add Blake's fiance and Brent's girlfriend - and, of course, Hayden! (She was here in utero last year.) Hayden entertained us all and was so much fun.

So it's been a busy few weeks. Fall has arrived, and the leaves are rapidly turning. The mountains are lovely this time of year. We've been to the Fall Festival at the GA Mtn. Fairgrounds and heard Percy Sledge in concert. We're going back today to hear the fiddling. Then we plan to drive over the Cherahala Skyway and get some good fall pictures. This is my favorite time of the year!

Dealing with worry...

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but I’ve decided to write a series on how to stop worrying. Now, when those of you who know me best pick yourselves up off the floor and stop laughing, I’ll explain why I’m doing this. I’ve been reading one of the best books ever written on anxiety – How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. It’s an old book published in 1944, but since the human mind hasn’t changed that much since then, I figure it’s just as relevant today as it was back then. I like the book because it’s not a lot of psychobabble examining the reasons why we worry; nor is it preachy, basically telling me that if I were a good Christian who trusted God enough, I wouldn’t have this problem. I don’t know why I’m a worrier, and frankly, I don’t much care. It’s either in my genes or it was ingrained in me in my childhood, or a combination of both. Psychologists now say that our personality is set by the age of six, and worrying is certainly a part of my personality. Whatever the reasons, no matter when it started, I simply want to know what to do about it now! Carnegie’s book offers many practical strategies for dealing with chronic worry.

So why am I writing about it? I’m a teacher. I’ve been a teacher since the age of eight when I forced my four-year-old sister to sit still and learn her letters and numbers. With three grandparents who were educators, I guess teaching is in my blood. With that inclination, any information that flows into my brain quite naturally comes out of my mouth. That may explain why that same little sister now affectionately calls me “Smart Butt.” (I’ve also been referred to by others as the Grammar Police…oh well, “I yam who I yam.”) ANYway, I learned something rather profound in my twenty-three years of teaching: If you want to learn something well, teach it to someone else. Learning something well means you internalize it, store it in your long-term memory, and most importantly, act on it! Well, I really, really want to learn how to deal with my worrying, so I am going to teach anyone reading this how to do so. That way, I can help myself and hopefully help others at the same time.

The first, and perhaps best, suggestion made by Mr. Carnegie is to think in “day-tight compartments.” This means that you compartmentalize your life into individual days and focus only on TODAY. You need to do this all the time. You don’t worry about tomorrow or next week or what’s going to happen five years down the road. If you are going to worry, it has to be about an immediate concern you are dealing with TODAY. It should also concern something you can actually do something about; otherwise, your worry is a waste of time and energy.

Now, me telling you this is not going to change you into a worry-free person overnight. Being a worrier is a lot like being an alcoholic – you will always be one. What you and I CAN do is learn strategies to help us deal with worries when they threaten to overtake us. I have memorized those two words – "day-tight compartments." Whenever I catch myself worrying about some future possibility, I repeat those two words to myself. This happens daily, sometimes several times. Catching myself is important, but it is just as important to replace the damaging thoughts with something else. As soon as I tell myself, “Day-tight compartments,” I start thinking about my plans for the day and what I need to accomplish. This works. Try it, and you will see, because we really cannot think about more than one thing at a time.
“But, but, but…,” you say. “My worries are real! I’m not just imagining things; bad stuff is quite likely to happen in my future.” I know – my worries are real, too. My parents are growing older and more forgetful by the day, increasingly needing my help. I’m getting older myself, and right now, old age does NOT look like a picnic. The economy just won’t get any better, and my son, who has a family to support and a house payment to make, works for a state that is out of money. So does my sister. My husband and I depend on a federal pension from a government that is 13 trillion dollars in debt and running unsustainable deficits. Health care is getting too expensive for ANYONE to afford. Muslim extremists want to destroy us, and the Chinese want to replace us as the next Superpower. The world is a big, scary place. I get that. But how much can I do about any of it? Not much, at least not today. So…I will focus on sphere of influence - today. Today, I am working at the art gallery and taking care of my responsibilities with the Art Guild. That’s enough to think about.

Actually, Carnegie was not the first person to come up with this concept. Jesus of Nazareth taught the principal over 2000 years ago. In Matthew 6:34, our Lord tells us, “Be not therefore anxious for the morrow; for the morrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” In today’s language, Jesus was saying we’ve got enough to worry about today. We can worry about tomorrow when tomorrow gets here.

The Trophy

In 1992, a British athlete by the name of Derek Redmond made Olympic history by losing a race. Derek had trained for years to achieve his goal of winning an Olympic gold medal and was well on his way to doing so in the 400 meter semi-finals when he tore a hamstring muscle and went down in pain. As the other runners passed him, he struggled to get up and, determined to cross the finish line, began hopping on one foot, his face grimaced in agony. Quickly, a large man pushed his way through the crowds and onto the track. Derek’s father ran to his son’s side and told him they would cross the finish line together. His dad supported Derek with his strong arm as the crowd rose to their feet and began to cheer. Triumphantly, Derek and his father crossed the finish line. Derek had lost the race but won the hearts of those who witnessed this great moment in sports history.

On that momentous day, Derek exemplified the words of the Apostle Paul who said, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1-3 Of course, Paul was not referring to a literal race, but a figurative race to the finish line of a life well-lived for God. The race is not easy. Just as Derek fell in his race, we, too, will fall along the way. Like Derek, we may limp to the end and need the help of our heavenly Father. There are so many things to entangle us, not just sin, but the everyday affairs of life that demand our time and attention, the worries that sap our energy and enthusiasm, and the pleasures that distract us from that which really matters. Just like Derek, we will know times of intense pain that will test our faith and commitment to Christ.

I have a friend, a feisty little Italian who is practical and rather blunt and always quick to offer an opinion. Many times I’ve heard her say, “Life is hard – and then you die.” That pithy little assessment of life always brings a laugh, but we know there is truth in those words. Life IS hard, and our mortal bodies will one day wither away and return to dust. But physical death is not the end. The prize, the trophy, lies beyond the finish line where we will see Jesus face to face and hopefully hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Hayden is here!!!

Yesterday I experienced that magical moment so many of my friends have told me about - I got to hold my precious little granddaughter for the very first time! Hayden Rebekah Canup was born at 12:17 pm on Thursday, January 28th. She weighed 7 pounds and 14 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. She is perfect in every way, a beautiful baby girl. Misty did great, and so did Sean. Mama and baby are doing wonderfully.

Sean called us Wednesday evening around supper time to say that Misty felt like things were about to happen. She had been to the doctor that afternoon and was at five cm. Sean called again around 8:00 to say she was feeling "crampy." Then at nine he called and said they were going to bed to try and get some rest in case they had to go to the hospital later, which they did around 1:00 am. They didn't know if they would be staying or not, but they called at 4:00 am to say that they definitely would be having a baby sometime that day, so Doug and I grabbed our bags and Little Bit and headed over the mountains. Needless to say, we had slept very little all night - about two hours, I'd guess. We arrived in Athens about 6:20 am. Milton and Rebecca and Misty's sister Dawn and her daughter Lauren were already there. We got to go in and spend some time with Sean and Misty. Nothing was really happening at that point, though she was having regular contractions. Later on we all got kicked out of the delivery room and they broke her water. Then it was sit and wait, and it seemed like an eternity! Mary Jane arrived and waited with us, and after a while, Cindy was able to leave school and join us. A little after noon, Dawn and Doug both got text messages at the same time that had a picture and the words "Hayden is here!" We all jumped up and down and hugged. We all got on our cell phones and started spreading the word. Then we waited and waited for them to bring her out into the nursery so we could see her. Sean and Misty were having some family time, and Hayden nursed for the first time. Finally, Sean and Hayden came to the nursery and the paparazzi got busy! I took 129 pictures yesterday, and everyone else probably did, too. The nurses took forever poking and prodding poor little Hayden, measuring her and so forth. Then some student nurses came in to do the same thing all over again. Hayden didn't like it very much and let everyone know it! She has good lungs. But then one of the nurses started washing her hair, and you could tell she loved that!

Rebecca and I spent some of this time in the room with Misty and helped in moving her and all their things to the mother and baby room. Misty looked great!

At long last, Little Hayden was brought to the room. Sean came in and the real picture-taking session began. We all took turns holding her. She was sleeping pretty much the whole time. It was one of the happiest moments of my life!

That evening, Doug and I joined Mike, Mary Jane, Kevin, and Cindy for a celebration dinnner at Outback. I blew my diet big time with the most delicious stuffed shrimp and steak. We ordered a filet to go and took it back to the hospital for Sean. Then I uploaded some pictures to Face book and Doug and I left to spend the night at Sean's. Of course, Sean stayed at the hospital for the night. We took care of their dogs for them and got back on Facebook for while before going to bed. It sure felt good to lie down after our long day!

Hayden should be coming home tomorrow. Doug and I would like to be here for that, but they are also predicting a winter storm for our area, so we must decide if we should go back ahead of that. I want to thank everyone for all the congratulations and kind words we received yesterday. I also want to thank Vivian for keeping our dog for us while we were at the hospital! Vivian, you are a true friend.

It's Snowing

It’s snowing. If it keeps up at the current rate, this may be the first time we see the ground with a solid cover of snow up here. They are predicting around two inches. I know it will be beautiful in the morning; I just hope we keep our electricity. If it goes out, we have the kerosene heater ready to fire up, and plenty to eat.

I worked at the art gallery today, but Mary and I closed up an hour early since the roads were starting to get covered. I had no trouble at all coming home.

I don’t know why, but there is something profoundly peaceful about falling snow. Perhaps it’s the softness, the quiet, or the purity of white covering every surface. Maybe it’s knowing that there is no where to go, nothing to do. At any rate, I’m sitting here with my cup of hot chocolate and my laptop, writing and looking up from time to time to see the gently falling flakes outside the window.

I need this. I’ve spent the past few days worrying about roof repairs, insurance, the economy, and my parents’ health, among other things. My only relief until now has come from walking the past three days with my new friend, Cheryl. Yes, we are crazy, but we have gone to the dam to walk with temperatures in the upper teens and low twenties. I would never have done such a thing on my own, but Cheryl is from Minnesota and thinks nothing of being out in the cold. She probably feels right at home! So with trepidation, I bundled up like an Eskimo and met her at the dam on Monday. At first, I questioned my own sanity because the wind was blowing the bone-chilling air across the dam. Every inch of me was covered except for my face, and it was FREEZING! I wrapped my scarf around my mouth and nose, and off we went. We talked through our scarves as we walked; in fact, we talked the entire fifty-five minutes, so the time passed quickly. I felt invigorated by the time we finished and agreed to meet again the next day and the next. I learned that, amazingly, it is possible to get hot when it’s twenty degrees outside!

I’ve also found that painting is wonderful for stress relief, and that is what I’ve done all day at the art gallery. There are always two people working, and today I worked with Mary, who I’ve worked with several times before. We get along great and enjoy painting and talking together. She was painting a bear, and I was working on my painting of Cinnamon, my friend Julie’s alpaca. He is cute. I’ve really gotten into animal paintings lately. So far, I’ve done a cow, a bear cub, a dog, and now an alpaca. Before, I had done mostly landscapes and one still life of a vase full of roses. I haven’t yet done a building, unless you count the old mill in one of my landscapes. The only subject I am really afraid to tackle is people.

Yesterday, Mama and I shared a sad experience. A dear friend of hers and Daddy’s, a ninety-three-year-old man named Bill, recently had a bad fall and was moved from the hospital to the Clay County Care Center (a nursing home). Mama wanted me to take her to see him. I warned her that he didn’t know anything, and she had been told that he did not even recognize his own daughter the past few days, but Mama insisted on going. I was a little curious to see the inside of the care center. With all Mama’s difficulties, it may become necessary for her to be somewhere like that one day, and I wanted to know what it is like.

When we arrived, two young staffers were arguing with an old woman that she couldn’t go outside because of the cold. They seemed frustrated. We asked where we could find Mama’s friend and were told he was sitting at the nurses’ station. Mama shuffled slowly through the hall with her walker, looking very much like one of the patients. We turned a corner and found our way almost blocked by a ladder, cones, and a large trash can. A ceiling tile was hanging down and water was steadily dripping into the container. I asked and was told the pipes had frozen and burst due to the cold weather. They had no water. Mama maneuvered around the cones with some difficulty.

Then we saw Bill. He was sitting in his wheelchair beside the counter, slumped over with his head in his hand. As we came up to him, we saw the large bruise covering the side of his head where he had hit it in his fall, causing bleeding on his brain. Mama spoke to him. No response. She kept trying until finally, he looked up at her with sad, vacant eyes. If there was any recognition, we couldn’t tell it. He did attempt to mumble something unintelligible. Then he dropped his head onto his hand again, propped up on the arm of the chair, and that was how he remained, even as Mama carefully released her grip on one handle of her walker and laid it across Bill’s shoulders. I stood to one side and watched this pitiful encounter, feeling deeply saddened. So this is how it ends, I thought. I wonder why God allows people to continue living in such condition. Other elderly patients sat in their wheelchairs, alone, and looking very sad.

“We might as well go,” I told Mama. “Yes, I guess so,” she responded. She and I slowly made our way back down the hallways, neither of us feeling like talking. On our way out, we passed the dining room where several patients were eating. There was no pleasant conversation, just silence.

The Care Center is a nice facility, but it’s just that, a facility. I can’t imagine it being home. It is not a place I would want Mama to go unless it became absolutely necessary.

The snow has slowed down considerably. It is supposed to end around midnight, so we may not get that much after all. I will enjoy whatever we get, and hopefully get some good pictures with my new camera.