Paula's Retirement
It's been four weeks now since our precious, seventeen-year-old poodle, Casey, was put to sleep, and I am finally ready to write about it. It was a long time coming, but deciding when to do it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. He was pitiful, and had been steadily declining physically and mentally during the past year. But every time I thought I was ready to take him to the vet, I just couldn't do it. He still knew us, he didn't appear to be in pain, and he still ate and drank. I knew that the next crisis that required medical attention would be the end, however, and that happened the week after Sean's wedding. Sean was taking care of Casey while we enjoyed some time in the mountains with friends. The day before we got back, Casey started having problems with his bowel movements. It's gross, but he just got "stuck" and couldn't finish. The next day when we got back he was no better. I wrapped in a towel, put him in his crate and took him home. The next morning I called the vet and made an appointment to bring him in two hours later. During that time he drank some water but would not eat. I carried him around the house and yard one more time so he could see he was back home. Then I took him to the vet where I sat with him in the waiting room with tears streaming down my face. The vet and his assistant were as sweet and understanding as they could be. It was all over very quickly. The assistant helped me take Casey back to the car. I went back in and paid them the $65 I owed and drove home in a bit of a daze. Then I called my husband who came home to help bury him. While I waited for him to get there, I sat and stroked his fur. He looked like he was just sleeping, and I had to keep staring to make sure he wasn't breathing before I could bear putting him in the ground. I took off his collar to keep. It had his name tag and some of his fur that got caught in it. That went into our keepsake box. Doug arrived and carried him to the grave in the back yard I had already dug weeks before. The two of us buried him together. Doug went back to work. That afternoon I washed his bed and blankets one last time and stored all his things away in the attic.
It was a sad afternoon followed by a sleepless night. The first week afterwards was really hard, the second week was better, and the third week I started feeling normal again. But four weeks later, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about him. He was a part of our little family for seventeen years. It's so different with him gone. I wouldn't wish him back the way he was in the end, but oh how I would love to start all over again with him as a puppy! He gave us so much love and joy.
Now for the happy memories. I knew before I got home with this tiny ball of fluff that I had picked the right puppy. Sean was eleven-years-old and went with me to pick out our first minature poodle. He is the one who named him Casey, for Casey at the Bat. We brought him home in a cardboard box, and I quickly realized what a little clown he was. His intelligence and personality were clear to see. Doug got home that evening, and there Casey sat in the middle of the living room. "He's cute!" he said, and it was love at first sight. Casey always preferred to sit beside Doug in his recliner.
He was a happy, loving little dog, and he was good, very good. His one "vice" was that he loved to find socks and drag them out into the middle of the living room floor. He never chewed them or anything else. He just liked them in the middle of the living room! I guess he had another quirk. He didn't like for us to touch each other in his presence. If Doug hugged me or kissed me, he got upset and barked his head off. When Doug and Sean would play-wrestle, he went berserk!
Another thing he didn't like was being behind closed doors. I had about two weeks to housebreak him before going back to work. He quickly learned what was expected of him. The first day I went back to school, I left him closed up in the laundry room. I returned home at lunch to check on him. Imagine my confusion when I opened the door and there was no Casey! I looked behind the washer and dryer and under the pile of laundry on the floor. Still no Casey. There was nowhere else to hide. I began to wonder if I was losing my mind! Then I looked behind the dryer again and noticed a hole in the vent pipe. It dawned on me that he had chewed a hole in the plastic pipe and squeezed through the dryer vent to the outside! I ran frantically outside to look for a tiny little puppy that knew nothing about the outside world. When I didn't see him, I thought I had lost him for good, but I started knocking on the neighbors' doors to ask if they had seen him. One door opened, and there stood the neighbor's little girl holding my poodle in her arms! I was so relieved! They had seen him out in the yard and knew he shouldn't be there so they brought him in and kept him.
One day a helium balloon drifted down into our yard. It had a long string still attached to it. Sean brought it inside, and Casey had a fit to get it. He thought it was a big ball for him to play with. Soon he was bouncing it off his nose into the air. Then he would jump up and grab the string to pull it down low enough to bounce it up again. He kept on and on while we three rolled in the floor laughing with tears streaming down our faces.
When he was little, he hated seeing himself in a mirror. I would hold him up to one and he would always look away. I really don't think he knew he was a dog, nor did he want to be one. In fact, he hated dogs. The only times I questioned his intelligence was when he would go after a dog big enough to eat him for lunch.
He was so full of energy. He never liked to be held for more than just a few minutes at a time. He preferred sitting beside you to sitting on your lap. He loved to play fetch, but refused to return the ball; you had to get it away from him. That was all part of the game. He learned to understand many of our words. He knew what "go to your room" meant, and "it's time to go to bed." Of course, he knew to sit and lay down. "Stay" was harder, because he wanted to follow so badly, but he would do it for a short time. He could dance around in a circle on his hind legs and walk two-legged across the room. He seemed to like it when I would pick him up and dance around the room with him. In fact, he always liked being picked up. I think he liked being up high. He loved to chase squirrels and just stand outside in the sunshine letting the breeze blow his ears back. He loved to eat chicken and cheese better than any other foods. Most of all, he loved us. When I talked to him, he would just stare at me with so much love in his big brown eyes. He followed me everywhere. He minded Doug and I well, but wouldn't mind Sean, much to his chagrin. I told him it was because Casey considered him a brother, and no kid minds his brother!
The other day I went to the pet store to get some plants for the fish pond. As I walked past the dogs, I saw a puppy that looked just like Casey, another apricot poodle. I stopped and just stared at him for the longest, choking back the tears. He wanted out so badly, and I seriously considered taking him out to play with him. In the end, I decided I just couldn't do it, not yet. Maybe someday we'll have a dog again, but not for a while. We want the freedom to come and go as we please for now, without worring about someone looking after the dog. Meanwhile, I am comforted by having Casey buried in the back yard. We plan to get him a stone marker. Losing him was hard, but having him for seventeen years was worth the pain.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
An ideal weekend
Paula's Retirement
One reason I quit teaching was that I wanted to enjoy my weekends. I wanted to be free from grading and lesson plans - free to enjoy time with my family, and free to just rest. That has worked out just as I hoped it would. Take this weekend for example. Friday night was our usual date night - eating out and drinking coffee afterwards at Barnes and Noble while looking at books. Saturday morning we kept to our usual routine - having breakfast with our friends. There are nine of us that go to breakfast together every Saturday, usually at Cracker Barrel, but it varies where we meet. Yesterday we were especially talkative and sat in Chik-fil-A for over an hour. It's a great way for us to stay in touch with our friends. (That same group also has a game night once a month, and we rotate between homes.) After returning from breakfast, my husband and I worked in the yard the rest of the morning. He edged and I put out mulch. It was cool and breezy so the work was easy. Hey, that rhymed! When we finished our work, we sat and admired the results while having a coke. Then we cleaned up and went down the road to a Greek festival where we ate delicious gyro sandwiches and baklava while watching the Greek dancers. It was quite entertaining, especially the old man who danced while holding a table with his teeth! We left from there to do a little shopping before returning home to take nice, long naps. For most of my life, I was unable to sleep during the day, but sometime in the last few years, that changed. I slept for a good hour before getting up to clean house. We took a break to go to the Dairy Queen for an ice cream supper and then stopped by the grocery store. I came home, finished my housework, and got on the computer to play Mah Jong until I was ready to go to bed. We got up this morning, drank coffee and read the paper, and then got ready for church where we heard a great sermon on the Davinci code. After church my sisters and their families came over to eat dinner. Everyone brought food. They all looked at our son's wedding pictures, and then we went through a box of really old pictures I had brought home from Mama's. After they left, I fixed food to take to the cookout our small group had this evening. We sat around eating hamburgers and having a great time just talking. Now I'm home and on the computer again until I'm ready to go to bed. This weekend has been perfect!
One reason I quit teaching was that I wanted to enjoy my weekends. I wanted to be free from grading and lesson plans - free to enjoy time with my family, and free to just rest. That has worked out just as I hoped it would. Take this weekend for example. Friday night was our usual date night - eating out and drinking coffee afterwards at Barnes and Noble while looking at books. Saturday morning we kept to our usual routine - having breakfast with our friends. There are nine of us that go to breakfast together every Saturday, usually at Cracker Barrel, but it varies where we meet. Yesterday we were especially talkative and sat in Chik-fil-A for over an hour. It's a great way for us to stay in touch with our friends. (That same group also has a game night once a month, and we rotate between homes.) After returning from breakfast, my husband and I worked in the yard the rest of the morning. He edged and I put out mulch. It was cool and breezy so the work was easy. Hey, that rhymed! When we finished our work, we sat and admired the results while having a coke. Then we cleaned up and went down the road to a Greek festival where we ate delicious gyro sandwiches and baklava while watching the Greek dancers. It was quite entertaining, especially the old man who danced while holding a table with his teeth! We left from there to do a little shopping before returning home to take nice, long naps. For most of my life, I was unable to sleep during the day, but sometime in the last few years, that changed. I slept for a good hour before getting up to clean house. We took a break to go to the Dairy Queen for an ice cream supper and then stopped by the grocery store. I came home, finished my housework, and got on the computer to play Mah Jong until I was ready to go to bed. We got up this morning, drank coffee and read the paper, and then got ready for church where we heard a great sermon on the Davinci code. After church my sisters and their families came over to eat dinner. Everyone brought food. They all looked at our son's wedding pictures, and then we went through a box of really old pictures I had brought home from Mama's. After they left, I fixed food to take to the cookout our small group had this evening. We sat around eating hamburgers and having a great time just talking. Now I'm home and on the computer again until I'm ready to go to bed. This weekend has been perfect!
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The trials and joy of gardening
Paula's Retirement
It's 11:00 am and I'm hot, tired and thirsty after two hours spent working in the yard. It's already hot outside in the sun. I decided to blog while I enjoy a cool, refreshing diet coke. This morning I pulled the weeds next to the road, transplanted some canna lilies, planted more cucumbers in the vegetable garden, put cages around the tomatoes and yarrow, staked up a fallen rose bush, deadheaded the roses, and planted some candy tuft seed. I'm NOT watering as we have a 90% chance of rain today.
I love my yard. It's beautiful if I do say so myself, and I always wanted a beautiful yard. I truly enjoy working outside until I get hot; in fact there is nowhere I would rather be than outside in my own backyard. One thing I looked forward to when I retired was having time to keep up on the yard work. Having said all that, I have to confess something here. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't do it on such a large scale. I think I "bit off more than I can chew." Here is the list of things that still need to be done outside:
1. Put mulch around all the flowers and shrubs. That means spending more money.
2. Putting out pinestraw around the edge of the woods - more money.
3. Weed the beds around the house.
4. Edge around all beds.
5. Paint the benches.
6. Paint the deck.
7. Clean and paint the tool shed,
8. Clean the wooden fence.
9. Prune the crepe myrtles.
10. Put another coat of paint on the bridge.
11. Kill the brush that didn't die the first time I spent the day spraying.
These are just the one-time things. The weeding, watering, spraying, and fertilizing never end. Like I said, I overdid it. Meanwhile, the birds, hummingbirds, and squirrels all need their food replenished, and the fish beg for flakes every time I pass the pond. Oh, and the pond needs cleaning out again. I ordered a replacement UV bulb this morning as the old one burned out, and that is the ONLY way to keep algae out of the pond.
I love gardening, but I never meant to do it full-time! There are too many other things in life I want to experience. It is sad when I see the neighbors walking by enjoying each other's company, and I can't bring myself to join them because there is just too much to do. And then there is my jazzercise class, which takes time during the coolest part of the day that I would normally spend outdoors. I can't give it up, however; it is my newly discovered fountain of youth!
OK, I guess I've complained enough and cooled off enough to get back out there. One more hour!
It's 11:00 am and I'm hot, tired and thirsty after two hours spent working in the yard. It's already hot outside in the sun. I decided to blog while I enjoy a cool, refreshing diet coke. This morning I pulled the weeds next to the road, transplanted some canna lilies, planted more cucumbers in the vegetable garden, put cages around the tomatoes and yarrow, staked up a fallen rose bush, deadheaded the roses, and planted some candy tuft seed. I'm NOT watering as we have a 90% chance of rain today.
I love my yard. It's beautiful if I do say so myself, and I always wanted a beautiful yard. I truly enjoy working outside until I get hot; in fact there is nowhere I would rather be than outside in my own backyard. One thing I looked forward to when I retired was having time to keep up on the yard work. Having said all that, I have to confess something here. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't do it on such a large scale. I think I "bit off more than I can chew." Here is the list of things that still need to be done outside:
1. Put mulch around all the flowers and shrubs. That means spending more money.
2. Putting out pinestraw around the edge of the woods - more money.
3. Weed the beds around the house.
4. Edge around all beds.
5. Paint the benches.
6. Paint the deck.
7. Clean and paint the tool shed,
8. Clean the wooden fence.
9. Prune the crepe myrtles.
10. Put another coat of paint on the bridge.
11. Kill the brush that didn't die the first time I spent the day spraying.
These are just the one-time things. The weeding, watering, spraying, and fertilizing never end. Like I said, I overdid it. Meanwhile, the birds, hummingbirds, and squirrels all need their food replenished, and the fish beg for flakes every time I pass the pond. Oh, and the pond needs cleaning out again. I ordered a replacement UV bulb this morning as the old one burned out, and that is the ONLY way to keep algae out of the pond.
I love gardening, but I never meant to do it full-time! There are too many other things in life I want to experience. It is sad when I see the neighbors walking by enjoying each other's company, and I can't bring myself to join them because there is just too much to do. And then there is my jazzercise class, which takes time during the coolest part of the day that I would normally spend outdoors. I can't give it up, however; it is my newly discovered fountain of youth!
OK, I guess I've complained enough and cooled off enough to get back out there. One more hour!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Reflections on my son's wedding
Paula's Retirement
Reflections on my son's wedding
The wedding is behind us; in fact, it has been three weeks since this major life event took place. I still can't believe my mischievious little redheaded boy is married! Life really does happen fast. He and Misty are getting settled into married life and seem to enjoy it immensely. Our house is quiet again - back to the empty nest. He had spent the last seven months at home after his lease ran out so he could save money for the wedding. It was great having him back those few months. We were really able to relate as adults during that time. There was very little conflict compared to what we had during his teenage years. I will always consider that time as God's gift to me - a chance to redeem myself in my son's eyes and as a mother. Though I miss him now, we were without him for seven years so this is nothing new.
The wedding was simple, sweet, joyful, and beautiful, as I had prayed so hard it would be. After months of planning, I consider it a real success. Since Sean and Misty are both 28 years old, they took almost full responsiblity for planning it and bore a great deal of the expense as well. I was impressed with their handling of things. They didn't break the bank or go into debt. Weddings are entirely too expensive these days, but we came in well under the national average of twenty to twenty-five thousand!
I read somewhere that the mother of the groom is responsible for showing up and wearing beige. Well, I did more than show up, and with my silver hair, I wasn't about to wear beige! Of course, I planned the rehearsal dinner, a casual catered barbecue. That meant finding a location, arranging for the caterer, decorating the tables, making the placecards and invitations on the computer, sending out the invitations, ordering the flowers, planning the seating arrangement, and lining up the showing of the memory DVD. It was fun, and the food was good.
I also worked hard to get me ready. That meant time and money spent to find just the right dress with matching shoes and jewelry. I spent too much, of course, in the effort to look as young and pretty as I could at my age. My dad reminded me that no one would care how I looked. Everyone would be looking at the bride. He was pretty much right, of course, the wedding IS all about the bride, but I knew my friends would be looking at me, and I wanted to look my best. So there was the fifty dollar haircut, a trip to the dermatologist, Weight Watchers, and jazzercise classes four times a week. I guess the result was pretty good. I did lose weight, and I got lots of complements, but then people always complement the mothers at weddings.
The wedding director said that three things have to go wrong at every event. I guess our three would be that my sister's mike didn't work when she sang during the ceremony, my husband who was also the best man forgot and escorted me out before the flower girls and ring bearer went out, and a dividing wall fell at the reception. Fortunately, my sister has a very loud voice and most people were able to hear her. No one but me and Doug seemed to notice we were out of order leaving the ceremony, and the wall was caught before it crashed onto the big screen TV that showed the memory DVD. In other words, there were minor glitches but no major disasters. For that I am very thankful.
Looking back, I would say that my favorite things about the wedding were seeing the the memory DVD, enjoying the pictures afterward, greeting lots of family and friends, hearing the mother of the bride sing for her daughter's wedding, and seeing my son do so well as he stood up to say his vows. Of course the very best thing of all was seeing the love and joy on my son's and daughter-in-law's faces that whole day. I thought I would be nervous when the day arrived, but I wasn't. I was excited and happy and enjoyed the whole day from start to finish. I ended the day thanking God for hearing and answering all my prayers.
Reflections on my son's wedding
The wedding is behind us; in fact, it has been three weeks since this major life event took place. I still can't believe my mischievious little redheaded boy is married! Life really does happen fast. He and Misty are getting settled into married life and seem to enjoy it immensely. Our house is quiet again - back to the empty nest. He had spent the last seven months at home after his lease ran out so he could save money for the wedding. It was great having him back those few months. We were really able to relate as adults during that time. There was very little conflict compared to what we had during his teenage years. I will always consider that time as God's gift to me - a chance to redeem myself in my son's eyes and as a mother. Though I miss him now, we were without him for seven years so this is nothing new.
The wedding was simple, sweet, joyful, and beautiful, as I had prayed so hard it would be. After months of planning, I consider it a real success. Since Sean and Misty are both 28 years old, they took almost full responsiblity for planning it and bore a great deal of the expense as well. I was impressed with their handling of things. They didn't break the bank or go into debt. Weddings are entirely too expensive these days, but we came in well under the national average of twenty to twenty-five thousand!
I read somewhere that the mother of the groom is responsible for showing up and wearing beige. Well, I did more than show up, and with my silver hair, I wasn't about to wear beige! Of course, I planned the rehearsal dinner, a casual catered barbecue. That meant finding a location, arranging for the caterer, decorating the tables, making the placecards and invitations on the computer, sending out the invitations, ordering the flowers, planning the seating arrangement, and lining up the showing of the memory DVD. It was fun, and the food was good.
I also worked hard to get me ready. That meant time and money spent to find just the right dress with matching shoes and jewelry. I spent too much, of course, in the effort to look as young and pretty as I could at my age. My dad reminded me that no one would care how I looked. Everyone would be looking at the bride. He was pretty much right, of course, the wedding IS all about the bride, but I knew my friends would be looking at me, and I wanted to look my best. So there was the fifty dollar haircut, a trip to the dermatologist, Weight Watchers, and jazzercise classes four times a week. I guess the result was pretty good. I did lose weight, and I got lots of complements, but then people always complement the mothers at weddings.
The wedding director said that three things have to go wrong at every event. I guess our three would be that my sister's mike didn't work when she sang during the ceremony, my husband who was also the best man forgot and escorted me out before the flower girls and ring bearer went out, and a dividing wall fell at the reception. Fortunately, my sister has a very loud voice and most people were able to hear her. No one but me and Doug seemed to notice we were out of order leaving the ceremony, and the wall was caught before it crashed onto the big screen TV that showed the memory DVD. In other words, there were minor glitches but no major disasters. For that I am very thankful.
Looking back, I would say that my favorite things about the wedding were seeing the the memory DVD, enjoying the pictures afterward, greeting lots of family and friends, hearing the mother of the bride sing for her daughter's wedding, and seeing my son do so well as he stood up to say his vows. Of course the very best thing of all was seeing the love and joy on my son's and daughter-in-law's faces that whole day. I thought I would be nervous when the day arrived, but I wasn't. I was excited and happy and enjoyed the whole day from start to finish. I ended the day thanking God for hearing and answering all my prayers.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
What retired life is all about
I'm doing something I've never done before - sitting outside with my laptop. It is a little hard to see the screen. I wonder if they make some kind of filter to use outside? I'm sitting at the picnic table in the woods behind the house so I can watch the piles of brush that are still burning. I've worked hard all morning, raking, cutting, and hauling brush to put on the fire. I don't know why, but I don't find anything more satisfying than doing that kind of physical work outdoors. I guess it takes me back to my childhood days on the farm. What I really love is pulling long vines down out of the trees! It gives me such a feeling of accomplishment when a huge tangle of brush comes crashing down around me. Yes, I'm a little wierd.
This week has been all about yard work. The weather has been perfect with plenty of sunshine and highs in the 70's. Another thing I remember from the farm is "Make hay while the sun shines," so everything else is on hold this week. Monday I got the vegetable garden planted, the first one I've had at this house. Yesterday I potted plants and cleaned out the fish pond. Today the air is still, so I'm burning before the burn ban goes into effect next month. I want to keep a close eye on the fire, so I brought my lunch out on the deck to eat. The portable phone keeps me in touch with the rest of the world as much as I want to be! (It did help me plan Easter with Sean.) When I got really tired, I lay on top of the picnic table with a rolled up sweatshirt under my head and just looked at the trees and listened to all the different bird songs. This is the life! Sometimes I miss my paycheck, but on days like this I am reminded of what I gave it up for. How nice to do the work I want to do, when I want to do it, and at my own pace - all in perfect peace.
This week has been all about yard work. The weather has been perfect with plenty of sunshine and highs in the 70's. Another thing I remember from the farm is "Make hay while the sun shines," so everything else is on hold this week. Monday I got the vegetable garden planted, the first one I've had at this house. Yesterday I potted plants and cleaned out the fish pond. Today the air is still, so I'm burning before the burn ban goes into effect next month. I want to keep a close eye on the fire, so I brought my lunch out on the deck to eat. The portable phone keeps me in touch with the rest of the world as much as I want to be! (It did help me plan Easter with Sean.) When I got really tired, I lay on top of the picnic table with a rolled up sweatshirt under my head and just looked at the trees and listened to all the different bird songs. This is the life! Sometimes I miss my paycheck, but on days like this I am reminded of what I gave it up for. How nice to do the work I want to do, when I want to do it, and at my own pace - all in perfect peace.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
No time to blog!
Saturday, April 8th
Well, I'm not too good at this blogging. I simply get too busy living to take the time to write about it. I should get up in the middle of the night while I'm lying there awake and do it then. Seems I have the middle-age woman problem of not being able to sleep. Or maybe I inherited it from Daddy who was just like his daddy and sister in that regard. At any rate, I finally did get up at 6:45 after lying there for three hours. At least my bed is extremely comfortable with its pillow-top mattress and memory foam pad. ( I highly recommend those things.)
So much has happened that I haven't written about. My son has gotten married, we went on a vacation with friends, I helped move my parents, and my dog is dead. Spring yard work is at its height. How in the world did I ever have time to work? I could write a book about each of these events if I had the time, but I don't. Right now, I need to go make coffee for my husband. My next posts will go into more detail about these events.
Well, I'm not too good at this blogging. I simply get too busy living to take the time to write about it. I should get up in the middle of the night while I'm lying there awake and do it then. Seems I have the middle-age woman problem of not being able to sleep. Or maybe I inherited it from Daddy who was just like his daddy and sister in that regard. At any rate, I finally did get up at 6:45 after lying there for three hours. At least my bed is extremely comfortable with its pillow-top mattress and memory foam pad. ( I highly recommend those things.)
So much has happened that I haven't written about. My son has gotten married, we went on a vacation with friends, I helped move my parents, and my dog is dead. Spring yard work is at its height. How in the world did I ever have time to work? I could write a book about each of these events if I had the time, but I don't. Right now, I need to go make coffee for my husband. My next posts will go into more detail about these events.
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