Nagamind Nuisance

The other night I noticed a book that had been sitting on my shelf for well over a year entitled, simply enough, Worry. Since I’ve had plenty to worry about lately (in fact, I’ve never had any trouble finding SOMETHING to worry about) I decided to peruse it. The book is written by a doctor named Edward M. Hallowell, and in it he describes some of the patients he has treated over the years. One was a doctor who had been sued in a frivolous malpractice suit by someone she had considered a friend. She was so traumatized by the event that she lived in fear of being sued again and found it difficult to continue practicing medicine, so she sought the help of Dr. Hallowell – who I keep wanting to call Dr. Halloween. Anyway, he tried some out-of-the-box treatments for her fear. One was to objectify her fear and give it a name. So, she imagined that her fear was a big ugly toad she named Hugo. Whenever she felt her fear coming on, she pictured Hugo hopping up to her, and she would simply shoo him away. Dr. Halloween admits it sounds crazy, but he claims it really helped.

I figure why not give it a try; it can’t hurt anything, and it’s much cheaper than a visit to a psychiatrist. But of course, I can’t just copy what someone else has done; I have to be more creative than that. And besides, I imagine my fears and worries to be much bigger than a little toad. So what animal could I use? Well, around here, people talk about nuisance bears that get into their trash cans and bird feeders. Perfect! From now on, my fears shall take the shape of a big black bear with the catchy name of Nagamind Nuisance. I will picture the large creature lumbering up our driveway towards our house. Now they tell me that the best action to take when you encounter a bear is to wave and make lots of noise to scare it away, so long as it’s not cornered or has a cub. If it’s a mama bear with a cub, the best action is to pray real hard. (Which also helps a WHOLE LOT with my real worries.)

So next time I get worried that Obama is going to bankrupt our economy and leave us without our government pension, I will see old Nagamind Nuisance coming and grab some pots and pans and clang them together real loud and shout, “Get out of here, Nagamind Nuisance!” The poor frightened bear will turn and run away as fast as his furry legs will carry him. No more fear.

So how is it working for me? So far, the idea amuses me enough to dispel my worries fairly well. You will have to ask me later on about its long-term effectiveness.